C O L U M N S

Tales from the Jugular

Whooya Talkin' 'Bout Answers

By: Eric Compton
Published: Saturday, April 28, 2007
The debut issue for our Whooya Talkin' Bout had a ton of feedback from our Maximum Metal readers. With that being said we wanted to go ahead and shoot out the culprit's behind last issue's quotes.

Cheers!

Note - Anyone remotely disturbed by late night Showtime, Comedy Central, or Frank Hill's rants and raves after being rejected by yet another bimbo....well simply look no further.

------------

1. "And to Dave Richards of Azra, for blatantly lying to us, not using our cover artwork and insert, running up our lawyer bill and jerking us around for seven months with our EP, may you get butt-fucked by a rhino with AIDS."

Overkill addressing Dave Richards of Azra in the liner notes for "Feel The Fire".

2. "Die painful and burn in Hell to" S. Logiodice/W. Schunke/Axel Morgan/K. Boesel, a real big bunch of motherfucking assholes".

German metalers Unrest addressing what I think is either Running Wild or X-Wild in liner notes for "Watch Out".

3. "Fuck you to Biff Byford and his Pong."

Morgana Lefay calling out Saxon's vocalist in the liner notes for "The Secret Doctrine".

4. "Special thanx to Barney for capturing the hearts of the children."

Trey Azagthoth in liner notes for Morbid Angel's "Covenant".

5. "...thanks goes to God, for giving to me this eternal hate against his concept and against his worshipers."

Samael's Vorpholak addressing the Christians in "Ceremony Of Opposites".

6. Hello Dudes: "......Eternity-X (R.I.P...Fuck me, Jamie, fuck me - the last edgay colon cowboy)".

Edguy vocalist Tobias addressing Eternity-X in liner notes for "Theatre Of Salvation".

7. "Joey Capobianco sucks fat dicks"

Your guess is as good as mine.

8. "And let me swing the big fucking sledgehammer through the skulls of all stoner rock faggots, gothic queers, black metal dorks, teeny bopper pussies, rapper jackasses, and most of all you cheesy heavy metal trendies!"

King Fowley addressing posers on October 31's "Meet Thy Maker".

9. "...and most importantly to all of the bands who made millions from pirating our work, our creativity and our artistry while we were in Japan, we say shame on you and prepare to be embarrassed and humbled by the mighty ______!!!"

Heavy metal kings Fozzy on liner notes for their self-titled debut.

10. "...Tom, "if it wasn't for me there'd be no band, you wouldn't have a girlfriend, my cap, I got a cat, a dog, a bat, a rat, and a knife, I'll kill you, Kiss rules, Moooo Hoohoohahaha" Browne.

Anthrax on liner notes for "Among The Living".




[Other Maximum Metal Columns]

<< back >>





RANDOM ACTS OF METAL
. LA Guns. The Haunted
. Dokken. Regurgitate
. Anthrax. Machine Head
. Kalibas. Solace
. Warhorse. Queensryche
. Firewind. Wizard
. Cage. Conquest
. Johnny Lokke. Pyn Siren
. Ion Vein. Tungsten
. Nicta. Black Sabbath
. Curriculum Mortis. Assrockers
. Stryper. Pink Cream 69
. Whitesnake. Primal Fear
. Fraise. Probot
. Brides of Destruction. Body Count
. Mother Misery. Shiva
. Death Angel. I Hate Sally
. Silver Mountain. Scala Mercalli
. Wolf. Amityville Whore
. Donnerkopf. Low Earth Orbit
. Jorn. Gary Moore
. Ministry. Joe Stump
. Estuary. Destructor
. Insomnium. Joey Belladonna
. Rhapsody of Fire. Imp
. Occult. Dark Age
. Megadeth. Age Of Silence
. Z02. Slowlife
. Neurosis. Throcult
. Dark Ruin. Silent Force
. Ironhorse. Hanzel Und Gretyl
. Cryme. Creed
. Of Infinity. Motley Crue
. Entombed. Corrosion Of Conformity
. Soilwork. Strikelight
. Heartcry. Hellfire
. Car Bomb. John Sykes
. Antares. Oathean
. Fire Alley. Kinrick
. Callenish Circle. Sinisthra
. Raintime. Burden Of Grief
. Nightrage. Ivory Knight
. Defleshed. Subterranean Masquerade
. Testament. Taake
. Secrets She Kept. Monolithe
. Killing Spree. Clutch
. Lake Of Tears. Illuminatus
. Forever Slave. Arthemis
. Thrones. Crystal Ball
. Doomfoxx. Avulsed
. Chain Collector. Mastermind
. Midnight Idols. The Classic Struggle
. Gorefest. Virgin Steele
. Beecher. Mental Care Foundation
. Second Shadow. Powerglove
. Katatonia. Tandjent
. Nikki Puppet. Nightmare
. Hell-Born. Clawfinger
. Moonspell. Cavalar
. Down Factor. Bludgeon
. Apiary. Cult of Luna
. Vengeance. Bloodbound
. Psycroptic. Death Breath
. Abominant. Anata
. Battle Bratt. Amputated
. Mastodon. Rotting Christ
. Lordi. The Showdown
. Demise. Deicide
. Better Left Unsaid. Celtic Frost
. Lecherous Nocturne. Gaza
. Warmachine. The Gathering
. In This Moment. Blood of the Black Owl
. The Prophecy. Malevolent Creation
. Kruger. Ulcerate
. Randy Ellefson. Architect
. Hellveto. Keldian
. Distorted. Mortiis
. Pop Evil. Armory
. Hacksaw Surgery. The Lamp of Thoth
. Bible Of The Devil. Alestorm
. UFOmammut. Faded Hope
. Something Beautiful. My Dying Bride
. Raven. Earthen Grave