C O L U M N S

Tales from the Jugular

Whooya Talkin' 'Bout 1

By: Eric Compton
Published: Wednesday, April 4, 2007
This actually going to be my first entry of "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout". What am I talkin' 'bout and what is "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout"? Its simple really. I'm playing a little game of who said that. Over the years I've always enjoyed reading the liner notes and band musings inside record releases. You can really read some over the top craziness when browsing through the thank yous and the f@@@ yous of a liner note. So I thought it would be a fantastic idea to put those in a question format and allow our beloved readers to ponder who or what band said these outrageous quotes. Next issue we will answer the questions, name the pottymouth, and give you a few more explicits to look over.

Note - Anyone remotely disturbed by late night Showtime, Comedy Central, or Frank Hill's rants and raves after being rejected by yet another bimbo....well simply look no further.

1. "And to Dave Richards of Azra, for blatantly lying to us, not using our cover artwork and insert, running up our lawyer bill and jerking us around for seven months with our EP, may you get butt-fucked by a rhino with AIDS."

2. "Die painful and burn in Hell to" S. Logiodice/W. Schunke/Axel Morgan/K. Boesel, a real big bunch of motherfucking assholes".

3. "Fuck you to Biff Byford and his Pong."

4. "Special thanx to Barney for capturing the hearts of the children."

5. "...thanks goes to God, for giving to me this eternal hate against his concept and against his worshipers."

6. Hello Dudes: "......Eternity-X (R.I.P...Fuck me, Jamie, fuck me - the last edgay colon cowboy)".

7. "Joey Capobianco sucks fat dicks"

8. "And let me swing the big fucking sledgehammer through the skulls of all stoner rock faggots, gothic queers, black metal dorks, teeny bopper pussies, rapper jackasses, and most of all you cheesy heavy metal trendies!"

9. "...and most importantly to all of the bands who made millions from pirating our work, our creativity and our artistry while we were in Japan, we say shame on you and prepare to be embarrassed and humbled by the mighty ______!!!"

10. "...Tom, "if it wasn't for me there'd be no band, you wouldn't have a girlfriend, my cap, I got a cat, a dog, a bat, a rat, and a knife, I'll kill you, Kiss rules, Moooo Hoohoohahaha" Browne.



[Other Maximum Metal Columns]

<< back >>





RANDOM ACTS OF METAL
. The Kovenant. White Skull
. Neck. Cradle of Filth
. Twisted Tower Dire. Symphorce
. Celestial Ode. Iron Maiden
. Agoraphobic Nosebleed. Dark Moor
. Crematorium. Wizard
. Powergod. Alchemy X
. Led Zeppelin. Pyn Siren
. Catch 22. Thunderbolt
. Mourning Beloveth. Malstrom
. Axenstar. Attacker
. Primal Fear. Fraise
. Doro. F5
. Soil. Death Angel
. Silver Mountain. Superchrist
. Cryonic Temple. Devil To Pay
. Exodus. Madison Paige
. Bleeding Inc. Wolf
. Epica. Metalium
. Brutal Mastication. Dimmu Borgir
. Juggernott. Potential Threat SF
. Occult. Aina
. Lullacry. Internal Bleeding
. GWAR. Acheron
. Hanzel Und Gretyl. Karmakanic
. Angra. Rush
. Sonata Arctica. Feared Creation
. Of Infinity. Paradise Lost
. Helgrind. Kings X
. Lost Soul. Corrosion Of Conformity
. Icarus Witch. Carina Alfie
. Backyard Babies. John Sykes
. Crimson Moonlight. Cemetary
. Kaamos. Oathean
. Bleed The Sky. Omegalord
. Drunkard. Magica
. Ignitor. Sinisthra
. Babylon. Burden Of Grief
. Pro-Pain. Nightrage
. Mirador. Maximum Overdrive
. Dark Funeral. Leaves Eyes
. Alice Cooper. Cannon
. Widow. Love Forsaken
. Agents Of The Sun. A Lower Deep
. Future is Tomorrow. Redemption
. Illuminatus. Orphaned Land
. Evergrey. Armored Saint
. Savage Circus. Arthemis
. Ghost Machinery. Overmars
. Asrai. Bronx Casket Company
. Detonation. Vanquished
. Dismember. Decapitated
. End of Level Boss. Insense
. Grimfist. Across Tundras
. Blackmore's Night. Upwards of Endtime
. Wolves in the Throne Room. Clawfinger
. Manngard. Phoenix Mourning
. The Smashup. Pyramaze
. Bal-Sagoth. Athanator
. Candlemass. Royal Hunt
. Theater of Tragedy. Michael Orlando
. Hurt. The Finals
. Enochian Crescent. Isis
. Satyricon. E-lane
. Darkness Eternal. Urkraft
. With Passion. Mindgrinder
. Pantera. Five Finger Death Punch
. Mithras. The Prophecy
. Since the Day. Transmission 0
. Retrospective. David Galas
. Fight. Hellveto
. Diamond Dogs. Heresi
. Ride The Sky. Father Befouled
. To-Mera. Puscifer
. Medieval Steel. Uriah Heep
. Coffins. Something Beautiful
. Caliban. Giant Squid
. Suspyre. Sister Sin
. Suffocation