C O L U M N S

Tales from the Jugular

Whooya Talkin' 'Bout 1

By: Eric Compton
Published: Wednesday, April 4, 2007
This actually going to be my first entry of "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout". What am I talkin' 'bout and what is "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout"? Its simple really. I'm playing a little game of who said that. Over the years I've always enjoyed reading the liner notes and band musings inside record releases. You can really read some over the top craziness when browsing through the thank yous and the f@@@ yous of a liner note. So I thought it would be a fantastic idea to put those in a question format and allow our beloved readers to ponder who or what band said these outrageous quotes. Next issue we will answer the questions, name the pottymouth, and give you a few more explicits to look over.

Note - Anyone remotely disturbed by late night Showtime, Comedy Central, or Frank Hill's rants and raves after being rejected by yet another bimbo....well simply look no further.

1. "And to Dave Richards of Azra, for blatantly lying to us, not using our cover artwork and insert, running up our lawyer bill and jerking us around for seven months with our EP, may you get butt-fucked by a rhino with AIDS."

2. "Die painful and burn in Hell to" S. Logiodice/W. Schunke/Axel Morgan/K. Boesel, a real big bunch of motherfucking assholes".

3. "Fuck you to Biff Byford and his Pong."

4. "Special thanx to Barney for capturing the hearts of the children."

5. "...thanks goes to God, for giving to me this eternal hate against his concept and against his worshipers."

6. Hello Dudes: "......Eternity-X (R.I.P...Fuck me, Jamie, fuck me - the last edgay colon cowboy)".

7. "Joey Capobianco sucks fat dicks"

8. "And let me swing the big fucking sledgehammer through the skulls of all stoner rock faggots, gothic queers, black metal dorks, teeny bopper pussies, rapper jackasses, and most of all you cheesy heavy metal trendies!"

9. "...and most importantly to all of the bands who made millions from pirating our work, our creativity and our artistry while we were in Japan, we say shame on you and prepare to be embarrassed and humbled by the mighty ______!!!"

10. "...Tom, "if it wasn't for me there'd be no band, you wouldn't have a girlfriend, my cap, I got a cat, a dog, a bat, a rat, and a knife, I'll kill you, Kiss rules, Moooo Hoohoohahaha" Browne.



[Other Maximum Metal Columns]

<< back >>





RANDOM ACTS OF METAL
. Cathedral. Into Eternity
. Lost Horizon. Opeth
. Vicious Mary. Carpathian Forest
. Mondo Generator. Exmortem
. Grave Digger. Neck
. Narziß. Deranged
. Skullview. Commit Suicide
. Celestial Ode. Helloween
. Lamb of God. Ravage
. Crematorium. Manowar
. Powergod. God Dethroned
. Black Label Society. Vyndykator
. Conquest. Johnny Lokke
. Inner Rage of Emotion. Biomechanical
. The Graveyard Boulevard. Runemagick
. Mourning Beloveth. Evanesce
. Tad Morose. Windseeker
. Attacker. Slayer
. Fraise. Body Count
. Doro. Hard Echo
. TNA. I Hate Sally
. Black Stone Cherry. Drowning Pool
. Devil To Pay. UFO
. David Shankle Group. Icon And The Black Roses
. Van Helsing’s Curse. Gamma Ray
. Zaius. Dragonspoon
. Juggernott. Goatsnake
. Black Destiny. Rhapsody of Fire
. Aina. Lullacry
. Unearth. Nashville Pussy
. Otep. Theocracy
. Necrodemon. Neurosis
. The 7 Method. Cryme
. Tristania. Dark Tranquillity
. Napalm Death. Fifth Cross
. Milkweed. Gods Of Fire
. Veni Domine. Maze Of Torment
. Astral Doors. Sabaton
. Mechanical Poet. Carina Alfie
. Angtoria. Mystic Prophecy
. the missing:. Cemetary
. Argument Soul. Kaamos
. Chaoswave. Frantic Bleep
. Lord Gore. Fastkill
. Impiety. Burden Of Grief
. Pro-Pain. Python
. Sothis. Brand New Sin
. Ektomorf. Slough Feg
. Kult ov Azazel. Circus Maximus
. Monolithe. Prowler Inc.
. Fates Warning. Resurrecturis
. Wetwork. Nuclear Assault
. Twilight. Mabon
. Shattersphere. Akercocke
. Doomfoxx. Gojira
. Infliction. Zero Down
. From This Day. Nobody's Fool
. Tandjent. Cannibal Corpse
. Intronaut. Nikki Puppet
. Nightmare. Daylight Dies
. Hell-Born. Firehouse
. The Ocean. Manngard
. Silver Dirt. Bal-Sagoth
. Speed/Kill/Hate. The Sword
. The Furor. Black Crucifixion
. Cult of Luna. Jotunspor
. Bloodbound. Mouth of the Architect
. Woodtemple. Burialmound
. Death Breath. Myon
. Sathanas. Winger
. Phazm. Skullflower
. Mindgrinder. White Willow
. Satariel. The Prophecy
. Gotthard. Hacride
. Aborted. Denial Fiend
. Trenchfoot. Throneum
. Destynation. Glenn Hughes
. Rosetta. Father Befouled
. Pop Evil. Blood Haven
. The Lamp of Thoth. Uriah Heep
. Kiuas. Place Of Skulls
. Coffins. Winterfylleth
. Uli Jon Roth