C O L U M N S

Tales from the Jugular

Whooya Talkin' 'Bout 1

By: Eric Compton
Published: Wednesday, April 4, 2007
This actually going to be my first entry of "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout". What am I talkin' 'bout and what is "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout"? Its simple really. I'm playing a little game of who said that. Over the years I've always enjoyed reading the liner notes and band musings inside record releases. You can really read some over the top craziness when browsing through the thank yous and the f@@@ yous of a liner note. So I thought it would be a fantastic idea to put those in a question format and allow our beloved readers to ponder who or what band said these outrageous quotes. Next issue we will answer the questions, name the pottymouth, and give you a few more explicits to look over.

Note - Anyone remotely disturbed by late night Showtime, Comedy Central, or Frank Hill's rants and raves after being rejected by yet another bimbo....well simply look no further.

1. "And to Dave Richards of Azra, for blatantly lying to us, not using our cover artwork and insert, running up our lawyer bill and jerking us around for seven months with our EP, may you get butt-fucked by a rhino with AIDS."

2. "Die painful and burn in Hell to" S. Logiodice/W. Schunke/Axel Morgan/K. Boesel, a real big bunch of motherfucking assholes".

3. "Fuck you to Biff Byford and his Pong."

4. "Special thanx to Barney for capturing the hearts of the children."

5. "...thanks goes to God, for giving to me this eternal hate against his concept and against his worshipers."

6. Hello Dudes: "......Eternity-X (R.I.P...Fuck me, Jamie, fuck me - the last edgay colon cowboy)".

7. "Joey Capobianco sucks fat dicks"

8. "And let me swing the big fucking sledgehammer through the skulls of all stoner rock faggots, gothic queers, black metal dorks, teeny bopper pussies, rapper jackasses, and most of all you cheesy heavy metal trendies!"

9. "...and most importantly to all of the bands who made millions from pirating our work, our creativity and our artistry while we were in Japan, we say shame on you and prepare to be embarrassed and humbled by the mighty ______!!!"

10. "...Tom, "if it wasn't for me there'd be no band, you wouldn't have a girlfriend, my cap, I got a cat, a dog, a bat, a rat, and a knife, I'll kill you, Kiss rules, Moooo Hoohoohahaha" Browne.



[Other Maximum Metal Columns]

<< back >>





RANDOM ACTS OF METAL
. Bathory. Lost Horizon
. Vicious Mary. Perzonal War
. Cradle of Filth. Symphorce
. Celestial Ode. Solace
. Queensryche. Majesty
. Mark Boals. Steel Attack
. Lamb of God. Ravage
. Masterplan. Manowar
. Angel Dust. Abigor
. Powergod. October 31
. Saint. The Graveyard Boulevard
. Morbid Angel. Rage
. Victory. Malstrom
. Halloween. Pharaoh
. Whitesnake. Lacuna Coil
. Royal Anguish. Neverland
. Tesla. Fear Factory
. I Hate Sally. Cryonic Temple
. Riot. Jag Panzer
. Ebony Ark. downBleed
. Freakhouse. Madison Paige
. Epica. Graveland
. Metalium. Ministry
. Judas Priest. Spiral Madness
. Estuary. Schenker/ Pattison Summit
. Therion. Fireaxe
. Bonfire. Lilitu
. Metal Church. Final Dawn
. Aina. Annihilator
. Z02. Slowlife
. Conquestador. The Lizards
. Negative Creeps. Agnostic Front
. Mirror of Deception. The 7 Method
. Tsjuder. Rush
. Betrayer. Dark Tranquillity
. Fifth Cross. Feared Creation
. Kinetic. Motley Crue
. Bloody Sign. Cradle To Grave
. Helgrind. Hellfueled
. Loudblast. Soilwork
. Hibria. Apocalyptica
. Antares. Severe Torture
. God Fear None. Boomerang
. Pure Inc. Lord Gore
. Kryoburn. Callenish Circle
. Slough Feg. Sentenced
. Kult ov Azazel. Slik Helvetika
. Horna. Killing Spree
. Morgana Lefay. Clutch
. Octavia Sperati. Mercyful Fate
. The Atomic Bitchwax. Armored Saint
. Casus Belli. Shattersphere
. Ewigkeit. Arthemis
. Balatonizer. Vile
. Asrai. Celebratum
. God Forbid. Dogs Of Winter
. Vanquished. Machina
. Early Man. Brother Hawk
. Southern Black Sand. Firehouse
. Tris Katone. The Ocean
. The Smashup. Elvenking
. Cataract. Candlemass
. Speed/Kill/Hate. Dreams of Damnation
. Royal Hunt. Swashbuckle
. War Within. Sahg
. Agalloch. Fleshgore
. The Abominable Iron Sloth. Oblomov
. Thy Majestie. Biolich
. E-lane. Starkweather
. Deicide. Urkraft
. Centinex. Diagnose: Lebensgefahr
. Battered. Merciless Death
. Trouble. Hacride
. Spit Like This. Since the Day
. Malevolent Creation. Ulcerate
. David Galas. Throneum
. JR Ewing. Destynation
. I Shalt Become. Blood Haven
. Souls Of We. Bullet For My Valentine
. Wolfgate. Ihsahn
. DC4