C O L U M N S

Tales from the Jugular

Whooya Talkin' 'Bout 1

By: Eric Compton
Published: Wednesday, April 4, 2007
This actually going to be my first entry of "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout". What am I talkin' 'bout and what is "Whooya Talkin' 'Bout"? Its simple really. I'm playing a little game of who said that. Over the years I've always enjoyed reading the liner notes and band musings inside record releases. You can really read some over the top craziness when browsing through the thank yous and the f@@@ yous of a liner note. So I thought it would be a fantastic idea to put those in a question format and allow our beloved readers to ponder who or what band said these outrageous quotes. Next issue we will answer the questions, name the pottymouth, and give you a few more explicits to look over.

Note - Anyone remotely disturbed by late night Showtime, Comedy Central, or Frank Hill's rants and raves after being rejected by yet another bimbo....well simply look no further.

1. "And to Dave Richards of Azra, for blatantly lying to us, not using our cover artwork and insert, running up our lawyer bill and jerking us around for seven months with our EP, may you get butt-fucked by a rhino with AIDS."

2. "Die painful and burn in Hell to" S. Logiodice/W. Schunke/Axel Morgan/K. Boesel, a real big bunch of motherfucking assholes".

3. "Fuck you to Biff Byford and his Pong."

4. "Special thanx to Barney for capturing the hearts of the children."

5. "...thanks goes to God, for giving to me this eternal hate against his concept and against his worshipers."

6. Hello Dudes: "......Eternity-X (R.I.P...Fuck me, Jamie, fuck me - the last edgay colon cowboy)".

7. "Joey Capobianco sucks fat dicks"

8. "And let me swing the big fucking sledgehammer through the skulls of all stoner rock faggots, gothic queers, black metal dorks, teeny bopper pussies, rapper jackasses, and most of all you cheesy heavy metal trendies!"

9. "...and most importantly to all of the bands who made millions from pirating our work, our creativity and our artistry while we were in Japan, we say shame on you and prepare to be embarrassed and humbled by the mighty ______!!!"

10. "...Tom, "if it wasn't for me there'd be no band, you wouldn't have a girlfriend, my cap, I got a cat, a dog, a bat, a rat, and a knife, I'll kill you, Kiss rules, Moooo Hoohoohahaha" Browne.



[Other Maximum Metal Columns]

<< back >>





RANDOM ACTS OF METAL
. Bathory. Cathedral
. The Kovenant. LA Guns
. Perzonal War. Solemnity
. Stratovarius. Machine Head
. Gun Barrel. Ring of Fire
. Advent. Mortician
. Wizard. Manowar
. Angel Dust. Cage
. Vyndykator. Led Zeppelin
. Black Sabbath. Shakra
. Morbid Angel. Victory
. Eidolon. Savatage
. Silent Scythe. Pharaoh
. Primal Fear. Fraise
. Wicked Sensation. Deivos
. Fairyland. Three Inches of Blood
. Scala Mercalli. Exodus
. UFO. Messiah's Kiss
. Wolf. Skyfire
. Disarmonia Mundi. Krokus
. Fireaxe. Insomnium
. Ungodly. Bonfire
. Meliah Rage. After Forever
. Lullacry. Katagory V
. Age Of Silence. Z02
. Necrodemon. Jamie. St. James
. Witchburner. Trans-Siberian Orchestra
. Seventh One. Angra
. John Oliva's Pain. Of Infinity
. Bloody Sign. Cradle To Grave
. Emerald Sun. Divine Fire
. Soilwork. Hibria
. Sabaton. Vicious Circle
. Strikelight. Tarot
. Car Bomb. Desire Black
. the missing:. Samael
. Oathean. Bleed The Sky
. Meshuggah. Drunkard
. Soul SirkUS. Operatika
. Callenish Circle. Fastkill
. Ivory Knight. Defleshed
. Raging Speedhorn. Darkane
. Kult ov Azazel. Taake
. Evemaster. Leaves Eyes
. Sebastian Bach. Nightvision
. Wetwork. Havochate
. Blitzkrieg. A Lower Deep
. Warchild. Loits
. Dirty Americans. Penetrator
. Bolt Thrower. Casus Belli
. Algol3. Savage Circus
. Damnation. Balatonizer
. Even X. Cryogen
. Skullshifter. Bronx Casket Company
. Zero Down. Gorefest
. Hate. Decapitated
. From This Day. Enforsaken
. Mental Care Foundation. Tandjent
. Ephel Duath. Lair Of The Minotaur
. Phoenix Mourning. Imagika
. Dream Or Nightmare. Hirax
. The Sword. 8th Sin
. Dreams of Damnation. The Furor
. TK-421. Ensoph
. Cult of Luna. Fragments of Unbecoming
. Azure. Skid Row
. Time Requiem. Pump
. The Finals. Myon
. Lesbian Bed Death. Audrey Horne
. Winger. Gaza
. Phazm. Hardcore Superstar
. Omnium Gatherum. Throne of Katarsis
. The Chronicles of Israfel. Crescent Shield
. Dezperadoz. Incrave
. Chrome Division. Gotthard
. Pentacle. Tears
. Fight. Keep of Kalessin
. Diamond Dogs. Mongrel
. Glenn Hughes. 40 Below Summer
. Last Stone Cast. To-Mera
. Armory. Embalming Theatre
. Celestia. Uriah Heep
. Bible Of The Devil. Alestorm
. Kiuas. Cursed
. Coffins. Crown The Lost
. DC4