F E A T U R E

Van Halen Release Review: "A Different Kind of Toupe" by Jonah Haze
4/13/2012 2:24:21 PM by Frank




"Dave saves the day personally. He gave them an "EPI" shot with a new phonograph needle. Rocking the cradle, getting unchained, (minding the women and children first); he was all the while maintaining the moving parts clean of this heavy machine. This is not Angelina "Jolie's" Diver Down, more like Ronnie Dio's "Holy" Diver Down.

You almost have to hold it with both hands its surprisingly heavy. Mind you this is Van Franklen but this is what will erupt the ears of the old. This is what will corrupt the years of the ears to come. Goddamn! If you didn't know me any wiser, this is fresh magic from the Van Halen Family Dutch oven.

Oh yeah, remember a guitar player named Eddie Van Halen?! Allow It! The magic man with the famous "fingertap" now holds nothing back with his reconstructed cyber hands. He sounds like the Terminator re-re-re-reprogramed to never ever stop until Sarah Conner is Dead. He searches high and low across the fretboard still so fluent in the hunger of youth. It's almost like some solos don't get to finish what Ed started. They scream at him to just let their final notes fly free from his instrument to live out their remaining resonance on their own terms.

Please welcome "Shreddie Eddie" from his long 5150 stay!"


His Full Bore Review: Van Halen - A Different Kind of Toupe



<< back >>






RANDOM ACTS OF METAL
· Cave In· Leng Tch'e
· Sinner· The Haunted
· Misery Index· Poisonblack
· Regurgitate· Neck
· Gun Barrel· Mark Boals
· Steel Attack· Ravage
· Sickspeed· Crematorium
· Manowar· Abigor
· Late Nite Romeo· Led Zeppelin
· Evolution· Byfist
· Supervillain· Iced Earth
· Inner Rage of Emotion· Sevendust
· Kilfast· King Diamond
· Nordheim· Vhaldemar
· Pharaoh· Primal Fear
· Asperity· Deivos
· Body Count· Node
· Death Angel· I Hate Sally
· Superchrist· Babylon Mystery Orchestra
· Freakhouse· Cans
· Epica· Edge Of Forever
· Low Earth Orbit· Ministry
· Joe Stump· House of Lords
· Destructor· Devil In The Kitchen
· Fireaxe· Lullacry
· Scavenger· Valume Nob
· Mine· Six Feet Under
· The Last Act· The Lizards
· Agnostic Front· Mirror of Deception
· Tristania· Crowbar
· Rottweiller· Corrosion Of Conformity
· Kamelot· Veni Domine
· Korpiklaani· Hibria
· Yyrkoon· Strikelight
· Apocalyptica· Chuck Schuldiner
· the missing:· Antares
· Stormwarrior· Kaamos
· Chaoswave· Alex Skolnick Trio
· Novembers Doom· Bruce Dickinson
· Meshuggah· Drunkard
· Swallow The Sun· Ignitor
· Ramesses· Raintime
· Shade Empire· Amorphis
· Circus Maximus· Leaves Eyes
· Ritual Killer· Nightvision
· Clutch· Pagan's Mind
· Blood Thirsty Demons· ASG
· Forever Slave· The Firstborn
· Barcode· Paths Of Possession
· Balatonizer· Gojira
· Vile· Define Divine
· Chain Collector· Gorefest
· Vanquished· Early Man
· Grimfist· Pile of Heads
· Witchery· Cardinale
· Intronaut· Poison
· Ephel Duath· Lair Of The Minotaur
· Beyond Fear· Nightmare
· The Ocean· Valhalla
· Manngard· Vreid
· Dream Or Nightmare· Dreams of Damnation
· Fragments of Unbecoming· Suzukiton
· Destruction· Hydrogyn
· Sahg· Skid Row
· Hurt· Myon
· Biolich· Sathanas
· Panzerchrist· The Gathering
· Threat Signal· Battered
· Madking Ludwig· Nagelfar
· White Wizzard· Katrina Johansson
· Antigama· Retrospective
· Throneum· JR Ewing
· The Wonderfools· Depressed Mode
· Echoes of Eternity· Frosthardr
· Spheric Universe Experience· Dantesco
· Shining Star· Bilocate
· Aetherius Obscuritas· Witchfinder General
· Straight Line Stitch· Last Stone Cast
· Moonshine· Trinacria
· Faded Hope· Sotajumala
· Crown The Lost· Sister Sin
· Dark Castle