Van Halen Release Review: "A Different Kind of Toupe" by Jonah Haze
4/13/2012 2:24:21 PM by Frank

"Dave saves the day personally. He gave them an "EPI" shot with a new phonograph needle. Rocking the cradle, getting unchained, (minding the women and children first); he was all the while maintaining the moving parts clean of this heavy machine. This is not Angelina "Jolie's" Diver Down, more like Ronnie Dio's "Holy" Diver Down.

You almost have to hold it with both hands its surprisingly heavy. Mind you this is Van Franklen but this is what will erupt the ears of the old. This is what will corrupt the years of the ears to come. Goddamn! If you didn't know me any wiser, this is fresh magic from the Van Halen Family Dutch oven.

Oh yeah, remember a guitar player named Eddie Van Halen?! Allow It! The magic man with the famous "fingertap" now holds nothing back with his reconstructed cyber hands. He sounds like the Terminator re-re-re-reprogramed to never ever stop until Sarah Conner is Dead. He searches high and low across the fretboard still so fluent in the hunger of youth. It's almost like some solos don't get to finish what Ed started. They scream at him to just let their final notes fly free from his instrument to live out their remaining resonance on their own terms.

Please welcome "Shreddie Eddie" from his long 5150 stay!"

His Full Bore Review: Van Halen - A Different Kind of Toupe

<< back >>

· Bathory· Cave In
· The Kovenant· LA Guns
· Leng Tch'e· Nightwish
· Steel Prophet· Big Dumb Face
· Karaboudjan· Solemnity
· Narziß· Cradle of Filth
· Twisted Tower Dire· Usurper
· Metallica· Power of Omens
· October 31· Evolution
· Shakra· Saint
· Bloodbath· Rage
· Evanesce· Nordheim
· Stryper· Axenstar
· Stalker· Edguy
· Project: Failing Flesh· Deivos
· Fear Factory· Three Inches of Blood
· Black Stone Cherry· Devil To Pay
· Construcdead· Exodus
· Babylon Mystery Orchestra· Cans
· Madison Paige· Outworld
· David Shankle Group· Jorn
· U.D.O.· Gary Moore
· Marillion· Fabrizio Bonanno
· Joe Lynn Turner· Therion
· Ungodly· Unleashed
· Lilitu· Nashville Pussy
· Otep· Megadeth
· Chris Caffery· Jamie. St. James
· House of Shakira· Tartharia
· Blind Guardian· The 7 Method
· Avenue F· Dark Tranquillity
· Fifth Cross· Paradise Lost
· Scenteria· Motley Crue
· Cradle To Grave· Crionics
· Maze Of Torment· Quiet Riot
· Soulscar· Wolverine
· the missing:· Stormwarrior
· Novembers Doom· Derek Sherinian
· Omegalord· Meshuggah
· Ignitor· Hatesphere
· Sothis· Subterranean Masquerade
· Dark Funeral· Goddess Of Desire
· Kult ov Azazel· Circus Maximus
· Taake· Voyager
· Supagroup· Dam
· Havochate· Holy Blood
· Morgana Lefay· Iron Maidens
· Scar Symmetry· To The Bone
· Lake Of Tears· Illuminatus
· Violent Storm· 1349
· Shattersphere· Vinterriket
· The Absence· Akercocke
· Ram-Zet· Avulsed
· Midnight Idols· Dragonlord
· Dogs Of Winter· Gorefest
· Early Man· Totalisti
· Tandjent· Intronaut
· Lair Of The Minotaur· Nikki Puppet
· Clawfinger· Moonspell
· Viron· Manngard
· The Smackdown· Vreid
· Imagika· 8th Sin
· Stormcrow· The Furor
· TK-421· Dawn of Azazel
· Spawn of Possession· Smohalla
· Psycroptic· Scary Manilow
· Skid Row· Vicious Rumors
· Woodtemple· Hurt
· Zero Hour· Steve Cone
· Centinex· Phazm
· Melechesh· Southern Gentleman
· Battered· Terry Sullivan
· Static-X· Cruachan
· Grenouer· Incrave
· Satariel· Passion
· Chrome Division· The Prophecy
· Divine Empire· Gotthard
· Retrospective· Blut Aus Nord
· JR Ewing· The Wonderfools
· Sworn Enemy· Architect
· Diamond Dogs· Night Ranger
· Mass Extinction· Rosetta
· Jesus Martyr· Aetherius Obscuritas
· To-Mera· Celestia
· My Dying Bride· DC4