In Honor of Gene Simmons' Engagement: My Top 10 KISS Songs
7/29/2011 1:34:41 PM by Chris Kincaid

I like some 70's KISS. More so from their 80's – early 90's heyday. Whether I agree with Gene that he invented brushing your teeth they've put their stamp on Rock N Roll for well over 35 years! Their influence is legendary. If not for them the 80's Hair Metal scene might never happened. 35 years of songs that tell stories of falling in love, not giving a fuck what anyone thinks of you, savoring life, burying your bone and getting your heart broken. Reminding you there's plenty other chicks and not to waste time on women who don't pay attention to you but to put, um, 'all of yourself' into those that do! Good advice! :)

So to honor my love of the dudes in war paint, here are my Top 10 KISS Songs. And I stress, they're MY Top 10 so leave the stress at the door amigos about which ones I left out:

10: Strutter
Off their first album. This is their best album from the 70's, even if it wasn't their best selling one. Well, it went gold but then hasn't most of KISS' music? Something else Gene likes to over-inflate. It was hard to limit this list to 10 since there were about 4 from this album alone I wanted to include but 'Strutter' is one of 2 from this album I play the most. Plus it's about a hot chick who thinks she's all that.

9: Black Diamond
Also off the first album. It starts off with a melancholic entry before jumping into the pits. The best part if you ask me is the end. The way this song closes out sounds so fucking demonic. It's no wonder parents thought their kids were weird and on dope. Wait it was the 70's! They likely were. Man…what a trip that would be hearing this beast for the first time and being stoned.

8: All Hell's Breaking Loose
One of 2 singles released off of "Lick It Up". This album gets so much credit for reviving their career and sold a gagillion albums. Plus it's made tons of best of lists for albums of 1983. But there were only 2 good songs off it IMO. I love the title track as well but this one has a more kick ass chorus. Some hate Paul's rap/talk vocals. Meh! I still dig it.

7: Take It Off
One of my favorites from "Revenge"! This wasn't on my version of Alive III but it was on their VHS "Konfidential" complete with this video of chicks dancing and putting their cock teasing skills to use. C'mon with a line like, 'Wave your panties in the air. Lick your lips and shake your hair. Un huh.' It's bonerific! Thank you Brian from Family Guy for that one.

6: Unholy
Another favorite cut off "Revenge"! What can I say I loved the Kulick/Singer version of KISS. Also love the opening riff that sounds like a siren. Plus the bass line is played cleanly in sync with the drums giving it a pounding rhythm section. Did you know there's a parody called 'Ted Poley' about the lead singer of 80's hair band Danger Danger?

5: (You Make Me) Rock Hard
One of 2 unreleased songs from their greatest hits album "Smashes, Thrashes And Hits". The other was 'Let's Put The X In Sex' with it's use of horns in the background. Look past Paul's effeminate/Richard Simmons inspired dancing in this video and the song is pretty decent.

4: Creatures of The Night
It kills me how this album only went Gold and is dismissed by some because it wasn't a huge seller. Yet it's follow up and MTV darling "Lick It Up" tasted Platinum. I think it had more to do with KISS unmasking then it being a good album. Given this one really only had 3 killer tracks but it put KISS back on the map after the god awful "Elder" shitfest. The video version is by Iced Earth as I couldn't find a decent quality version from KISS. But it's right on par with the original.

3: Love Gun
Remember the movie Role Models and Stiffler says, 'The gun is his dick!'? It is Stiffler! That dude can make any movie he wants but much like Curtis Armstrong who played nose picking pervert Booger in Revenge Of The Nerds he'll forever be known as 'The Stiff Meister'. BTW…Curtis also does the voice of Snot on American Dad. Oh yeah and the song is cool too!

2: Heavens on Fire
The only song I liked off of "Animalize". Hot on the heels of "Lick It Up" and their new found fame is likely why it did well and allowed Gene to buy Shannon a rock bigger than her jugs and put another wing on the Simmons Estate. And much like other KISS songs reeks of sex. Perfect song for tit fucking.

1: I Love It Loud
It was a tie between this and 'War Machine'. But this song takes the cake! Anthemic and proud! A couple weeks back on what would have been Eric Carr's 61st B-Day I sent this to the Caravellos (Eric's family) on Twitter. They appreciated the gesture. It's easily my favorite from KISS and from him for his drumwork on it (Carr Jam coming in a distant second) With it's big, all so impressive pounding drums that overshadow everyone else in this song. The riff is good too even it's upstaged by Eric here.

Horns Up!

LINK: [Kincaidism]

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