The Necrofile - Issue 37
by EC

Contents:
- Tobias Sammet
- New Releases
- Maiden's Final Frontier
- Marvel Madness

Tobias, Tobias, Tobias. You know I was a huge supporter of Tobias Sammet and was the first in line to say "DAMN" in fascination of Edguy's underground debut "Kingdom Of Madness" way back when. From that point I pre-ordered, special ordered and pirated everything I could get my hands on with Sammet or Edguy. I loved the band and rallied behind his Avantasia project back in 2001.

Honestly though, right now I am just plain sick of this guy. He has done it to himself...yes indeedy. Sammet is all over the place! He is like the Dallas Cowboys of metal...the New York Yankees of metal...the Dale Earnhardt Jr. of metal...I'm sick of seeing this guy everywhere. Any day now his baby face is going to pop up on a Goddamn Wheaties box!

In five years this German has put his name in some fashion to:

· Edguy - Superheroes EP
· Edguy - Rocket Ride
· Edguy - The Singles Collection
· Edguy - Tinnitus Sanctus
· Edguy - Live DVD and CD
· Avantasia - Lost In Space Part 1 AND....don't forget... AND....Part 2
· Avantasia - The Scarecrow

And NOW...NOW this guy has the balls to put out TWO...freakin' TWO full length albums this early in 2010. Oh, and if that isn't enough he has gone behind the barn and grabbed a bunch of band whores to join him! I could get Tim Owens to play my dining room right now. Who couldn't get Jorn Lande over to host a barbecue!?! If I pulled out a freezer-pop I could get Michael Kiske over to serenade me in my boxers in the middle of May. Really, this has become worse than Overkill, Motorhead and Destruction combined. Sammet, this is too much for you and damn sure too much for me. Sit this one out! Recharge the batteries...go jam some Euro pop music for a year or two and blow out a flip-flop. Come back with "Heavy Metal Hamsters Played The Edguy Way" and rock our socks off in 2012. Until then...follow the soulful voice of a sweet Don Dokken....just walk away baby, just walk away.

And now...on a lighter note...moving on to some new releases to point out for the Spring:

AFM Records has Jon Oliva's Pain checking in with new studio effort "Festival". That will become available in early March. Also look for the Masterplan reunion with Jorn Lande on new album "Far From The End Of The World" due on April 16th.

Some newer titles from Earache are showing in May, showcase title being Annihilator's new release simply titled "Annihilator". Also look for the promising sophomore effort from Enforcer called "Diamonds". Both should hit in mid May.

Nuclear Blast has the absolutely horrid new Cathedral album "The Guessing Game" hitting on March 26th. Also look for the mighty Unleashed to unveil "As Yggdrasil Trembles" on March 19th. Also The Crinn has "Dreaming Saturn" in line for a April 9th date.

Prosthetic has "Sovereign Descent" from Landmine Marathon hitting on March 16th. Also look for the new Hank Sherman (Mercyful Fate) project entitled Demonica to land their debut "Demonstrous" in March via Massacre Records.

If you haven't already go check out a great young band out of Toronto, Canada called Skull Fist. You can hear their debut EP at www.myspace.com/skullfisted.

Okay, so the Gods of heavy metal, Iron Maiden, decide to hit North America again with a new tour package. The best damn band on the planet is putting out a new studio record this year and I am really excited. "The Final Frontier" will hit stores at some point in 2010 and the group have released initial artwork of the album featuring what looks like a cross between Eddie and Predator (you know...the monster from the movie/comics...face looks like a vagina with tusks and eyes) blended together. Rather childish but who's complaining? The band is going to appeal to the masses of the continent by bringing out...here we go...the HUGE metal act DREAM THEATER. Are you fucking kidding me!?! Me and the boys are fired up with "Aces High" and "The Trooper" on the way to the show...we hit that dive every year with the footlong dog deep fried in baked beans and we are red hot and burning for MAIDEN baby!! I hit the pavillion with my balls tucked up to my chest in anticipation and get a set of fucking Dream Theater!?! Seriously? They get a 45 minute set to play...what...2 songs!?!?! I'm fired up for Bruce and the band to just nail it and I get a coma inducing keyboard fest from Dream Fucking Theater. I REFUSE TO SIT THROUGH THAT. That's like popping a can of Nyquil before nailing your favorite pole dancer down at Lucky Lucy's. How are you supposed to stay awake after Baby Einstein runs for 45 mins? What's your buddies gonna say mid set...something like "Goddamn Jimmy, did you see that sumbitch play that piano solo! Played it like Jerry Lee Fucking Lewis!!". I really don't think so. I hate Maiden for this. I always hate them for this kind of planning...the horrible planning they have with bringing acts out with them for the US runs. I hate this. I hate this. I really hate this.

Last nugget of useless information for this issue of The Necrofile. Readers, I have been digesting the multiple Marvel storylines and I must say I am very impressed. Being a very casual comic reader, I find myself completely clueless when it comes to the Marvel universe. I know a little bit here and there about a few heroes. The only character I have read religiously is The Punisher and X-Men (until the mid-90s). I've picked up the occasional trade or graphic at my local library but normally found myself lost in the confusing back stories of the individual heroes. Where the Hell would you start reading Spider-Man? Could you just pick up an Avengers title and understand any of it? Well it is difficult but if you are even REMOTELY considering a jumping in point let me just say that RIGHT NOW would be the PERFECT time!

I managed to track down a digital download of the Civil War storyline in chronological order. Amazing read and I felt a bit lost for the most part but it pieced together by the end and I had a fairly good grasp on the characters and their backstory over the last couple of years. From there I waited until the next big event transpired and grabbed all 20 something trades from Amazon in used or discounted condition (most under $8). That storyline is called "Secret Invasion" and it is just fantastic. Not to spoil anything but at the end of Civil War the heroes are divided. One side is registered with the US government and work as heroes for state government run teams as well as the defense program S.H.I.E.L.D. The rest of the heroes are considered fugitives and are hunted by government task forces. The "Secret Invasion" showcases an alien race that has infiltrated the heroes by looking identical to said hero. At the end of "Secret Invasion" Norman Osbourne (Green Goblin) becomes the most powerful leader in the country and dismantles many of the teams including S.H.I.E.L.D and begins running evil and sadistic plots to eliminate anyone that opposes him.

Why is this a great jump on spot? If you can grab most of the trades of "Civil War" and "Secret Invasion" you will notice that most of the Marvel Universe is down to about 12-15 actual books now, with many of them starting over at Issue 1 in the last year or two. For example you can hop right into Iron-Man via his brand new series "Invincible Iron-Man". Same with War Machine. Captain America...easy just grab it at issue 500 and continue reading as Bucky is now the new Captain. Want Avengers? Both New Avengers and The Mighty Avengers are easy reads starting at trades under ten volumes (again grab them cheaply from Amazon or from your local library). Dark Avengers is under 12 issues now so you can easily pick that up and start reading as Osbourne forms a brand new "evil" team of heroes. Ms. Marvel (the hottest superchick) is an easy start with trades going at under 5 volumes.

Once you get past that you can start with the new summer event called "Siege" hitting Marvel books right now. Jump on board and enjoy heroes off the screen. Comics are just great media and normally appeal to us, the heavy metal fanatics.

Until next time remember.....red lights are for banging the heads that don't bang.