The Necrofile - Issue 34
by Rod T.

Yeah BABY!!! Rod T. is back louder and nastier than ever! Holy rollers what a helluva summer! Props to EC for sticking his gut out for me on the last Necrofile issue. He may have mentioned that I was missing in action for a couple of weeks. I apologize to my beloved readers and most importantly Maximum Metal for cutting me some slack in the face of a real tragedy for me. Here is what happened....

I signed up for a cruise through Key West back in early July. The boat left Miami (or thereabouts) at 5:00AM. Well, needless to day I got there the day before and was pretty hammered out of my mind by the time I arrived at port. Somehow, and I really have no f'n clue how this is even possible, but my travel agent booked the wrong f'n cruise line for me! Sammy Davis (I'm not joking), my agent, booked me on the Big Red Boat cruise for families. So instead of a boat hopped up on liquor, adult games, and plenty of skinny, petite, bikini-clad babes begging for Rod T's manhood, I got booked with 400 families and their screamin' babies. When I hit the port they guided me on my boat, THE BIG RED one, and I was set to go. Hammered out of my mind I really never paid any attention to the cruiseline or my boarding papers. It was about 1PM that day that I realized ain't no jivin' or bush divin' takin' place on this loveboat. Instead I had an enormous Micky Mouse and Donald Duck giving me hugs and kisses and feeding me chocolate milk and M&Ms. This is most definitely not the game of Captain Stabbin' and his female hands. So for one full week I complained to the officials, begged and pleaded to switch ships, and by the end of the week I was tied down on Yoo-Hoo bottles and mini-hot dogs.

That was my Summer vacation. That was my Summer. That was pure Hell.

So with that being said, I hope you do understand why the Necrofile hasn't been up to speed with Rod T.

Now I'm back baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First up, what the Hell has happened to Megadeth? Since when is touring more important that a f'n new album? Dave and his merry friends decide to hit the Gigantour this Fall and skip out on a new release. Dave's new album was supposed to hit store shelves in October...Halloween to be precise. Remember when "Youthanasia" hit and they did that awesome special on MTV right around Halloween? Those were the days when dates and metal blended perfectly. Now Megadeth is pushing for January. Huh? This is about the same type of travesty that Slayer had releasing their new record (a real shitstorm I might add) in July instead of on 6/6/6.

Anyone even watching "Headbanger's Ball" anymore? I TIVO it but I'll be damned if I ever let off of fast-forward until the very end. Just band after band screaming and yelling to a few twin guitar notes. When is the madness going to stop? EC, God Bless his soul, has really turned me on to some amazing new albums of late. I'm spinning new releases from Winger (damn good!), Maiden, Motorjesus, Astral Doors, Empire, Animal, Krokus, Manitou, Frontline, Fair Warning, Desperadoz, Bombay Black, Psychopunch, Firewind, and Bloodbound just to name a few. I passed those titles over to Nailer for a spin or two as well. Hopefully we can get some reviews up for that stuff and more people can start hearing quality metal again.

Mentioning Winger reminds me to tell all of you hard rock and hair metal fans to check out some great new albums heading your way over the next few months. I can't say enough good things about the new Winger! It is simply called "IV". The new Krokus album, "Hellraizer", is a decent spin as well. Look for a real good punk/hard rock band called Psychopunch. They have a few albums out and just released their new one. The new Warrant is already out. A new Bang Tango hits shelves next month. New Pretty Maids follows that. Also new albums have been released from Frontline, Fair Warning, Bombay Black, Babylon Bombs, Vengeance, and even a Ron Keel solo album (remember Keel right?). A Tesla covers album is on its way and before long we might even see that new Guns 'N Roses....ha!

Remember that dude from Black Sabbath that sang on albums after Dio? Tony Martin. Man, I used to love jamming "Eternal Idol" and "Headless Cross". The man was an incredible singer even though famed Canadian journalist Martin Popoff claims that he is a bit too medieval. Well folks Tony Martin is involved with some fantastic new albums! First off, he released a solo album a couple of years ago called "Scream" that was just tight. Now he has released a new album with his band Empire called "The Raven Ride". KILLER STUFF baby!!! Like Sabbath meets newer Paradise Lost meets mid-era Savatage. Then he teamed up with this neo-classical guitarist and released Giuntini Project 3. Check this stuff out!!! Kills newer stuff from Ozzy and Dio in my opinion.

Can you believe that Iron Maiden have scored their best record success with new album "A Matter Of Life And Death"? The damn thing opened to a number 9 on the Billboard charts! After all of their albums and years and years of tours and media exposure, they finally break into the top 10!!! UP THE IRONS! The new record is absolutely incredible by the way. Pick it up ASAP if you haven't already. Just as a comparison from big name to underground, the new Blind Guardian, who have been around since the early 90s and toured the whole world, opened their new album position at 288. "A Twist In The Myth" is the band's first release for Nuclear Blast and their best opening position that I can recall.

Well my dog had knocked over my trashcan and last night's girlfriend is finally waking up. Let me get off of here, get on (to) her, and get her out the door before she remembers my house number and street.

Metal Cheers!!!

--Rod T.