Thanks for stopping by the latest issue of The Necrofile. Been a while, but My name is Johnny Pardon and I am your wordsmith wizard for this issue.

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NEW WAVE OF UNITED STATES HEAVY METAL
Looks like we have a name for the next trend in Metal--New Wave of United States Heavy Metal (NWOUSHM) to go with the new wave of brutal, melodic technical American bands like Lamb Of God, Shadows Fall, Killswitch Engage and God Forbid. Finally, we have an abbreviation longer than NWOBHM and I can rest my head.


REALITY SHOWS - THE NEW CAREER MOVE
MÖTLEY CRÜE singer Vince Neil's guest appearance on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" was named one of the top five most memorable music moments on television of the past year by AOL Television, the leading television destination online. He has also been on the reality show "Surreal Life" and has signed on to star in MTV's "The Remaking of Vince Neil". Tommy Lee has inked a deal with NBC for a reality series centered on his enrollment in college. The still-untitled show is currently in development and does not yet have a premiere date. It will follow Lee as he experiences college life at a university to be announced. Former SKID ROW singer's new VH1 reality show, "I Married Sebastian Bach", was the top-rated show on VH1 the day it premiered.

So, really who's to blame...Ozzy, of course. With all of these 80's boyz moving into the reality arena, smelling the easy cash you're sure to have a bunch of the others jump on the wagon. Some of the new shows coming down the pike to an HD-TV near you could be:

Bret Michaels (Poison) "Guitar Crooning and Ass-Beating" - See if Bret is accepted into another career as we drop him into one hick bar after another across the South.

Blackie Lawless (WASP) - "We are Sports Producers" - an option for viewers tired of watching poker, bowling, golf, and other non-sports. Blackie and company will provide live play by play on the sport you love best...tossing your meat!

Kevin Dubrow (Quiet Riot) - "Mental Health" - Follow Kevin into the most insane asylums around as he dodges flying applesauce, folding chairs and bodily fluids to bring you the joys of being certifiable without losing your hair weave.

Dave Mustaine (Megadeth) - "Drama in Detox" - Join us tonight for "Drama in Detox". We'll follow EC, a yuppie from SW Virginia that's hooked on crystal-meth as he gets checked into detox against his will. Kicking and screaming the whole way with EC, your host Dave Mustaine will compare his personal experiences with heroin, with that of EC's as he battles through the shakes, vomiting, and 6 days without sleep!

Jani Lane (Warrant) - Food TV "Dropping Cherry Pie" You loved watching cherry pie fall into a hot blonde's lap back in the 80's, well now we're bringing back the fun of dropping food into unsuspecting women's laps! Show #1-- chicken wings in the crotches of Hooter's waitresses

David Lee Roth (Van Halen) "Emergency Tech" - See who lives and who dies as DLR bosey-bosey bops from one gruesome scene to the next with a smile on his face.


RONNIE JAMES DIO KEEPS MOVING
In a recent interview with Classic Rock Revisited, vocalist Ronnie James Dio was asked about the possibility of a RAINBOW reunion at some point in the future. "There are no reunions for me," he replied. "There is no reunion with RAINBOW and there are certainly no reunions with BLACK SABBATH. I went there twice and it didn't happen the second time, either. I don't want to be involved in that anymore. They are doing what they want to do with Ozzy and that is good for them. I wish them all the best. There is nothing backward at all about what they are doing. My career will be DIO and that will be the end of it.

There's some forward thinking for ya and who better than RJD who has been going at it in music since the late 50's (!). As much as I would like to see him come out on OZZFEST and throw "Neon Knights" and "Heaven and Hell" out at the crowd with about 5000 hand gestures, I can respect his decision to leave well-enough alone and move on.

"They were great days and we made some really great music but life goes on. Too many times people who reunite in that classic manor are doing it because they can't carry on in this day and age. I can, so I am going to continue doing it."

And he does. His new CD, "Master of the Moon" is out and he still has the powerhouse voice of a metal god. Initial reviews are mixed and I just haven't quite decided after a listen if I like the music around him though. I'll give it a couple more spins and see where it fits in his discography. It ain't "The Last in Line", I will say. \M/


MEGADETH MAINMAN MOUTHS OFF
MEGADETH mainman Dave Mustaine has spoken to Canada's Chart Attack about the inclusion of a scene in METALLICA's "Some Kind of Monster" documentary in which METALLICA drummer Lars Ulrich sits down with Mustaine for a one-on-one therapy session. He's talked about this for months even jabbing cheap shots at Lars' sexual orientation (probably to garner press for his new release along with a chance to throw some smack)

"Then Lars goes online and says he doesn't understand why I’m so pissed off. You didn't listen to me! Then when he catches wind that I’m getting sick of his crap he says, 'Aww, I just want to hug Dave. I'm sexually attracted to him.' What the hell happened to you?"

But the real words he saved for the usually quiet Kirk and main man James:

"I really don't care about Kirk [Hammett] — he stole my job, but at least I got to bang his girlfriend before he took my job — how do I taste, Kirk? Why didn't you say in the movie, 'Hey listen, I've been a twat because for 20 years. I pretended you were invisible.' Then I would have been like, 'OK! You can put my part in!'"

OUCH!!! What bravado! I think I'll even give his new CD "The System Has Failed" a listen for that.


KORN REMAKE
KORN's song for their cover of CAMEO's 1986 top 10 hit "Word Up" is out now and even being the Nu Metal non-fan I am, I think it kicks ass. They really didn't change around the song much or make it heavier, but Johnathan's delivery and pitch works for it. Maybe we could get Deftones to do "Brickhouse" or Mudvayne could cover "Jungle Love". I could see Limp Bizkit attempting to do Prince's "Let's Go Crazy". I doubt I'd enjoy it, but I could see it.


UNDISCLOSED ANOMALIES?
TYPE O NEGATIVE's management has issued a statement regarding the postponement of the band's fall 2004 U.S. tour. It reads as follows: "During a recent medical exam, undisclosed anomalies were discovered and it was suggested that Peter Steele, lead singer, bassist and songwriter, undergo further tests. As a firm timetable for the tests and the subsequent results is indeterminable, it has been decided to postpone the fall tour to a later date when there will be no foreseeable conflicts with scheduling.

Undisclosed anomalies...? Whatever they are they were bad enough to stop the tour. That makes me shudder a bit. Maybe they were on the band's checkbook?


LOOKING FORWARD TO LIST
Iron Maiden - early years DVD - A ton of early stuff. Bruce in his prime will make it ecspecially worth it

Nightwish - Once - The American release will include extra material not found on the album's original European release: the bonus cuts "White Night Fantasy" (originally released on the "Nemo" single) and "Live to Tell the Tale" (found on the Japanese version of "Once"), plus the "Wish I Had An Angel" video in MPEG format.

Mnemic - The Audio Injected Soul - I've heard some of this already and if you like the industrial/modern hybrids, pick it up!

Saxon - Lionheart - These guys have been around a while, but this may be their strongest to date.


RANDOM THOUGHTS
I saw Dave Mustaine's appearance on MTV2 "Headbanger's Ball" for the new video "Die Dead Enough" and he's all upbeat and jocular and almost flirtatious with the host. For some reason, Dave reminded me of Tori Amos.

Anybody want to bet that Ripper Owens only lasts through one more Iced Earth CD?

How much did it cost for RHAPSODY to get famed movie actor CHRISTOPHER LEE to work with them?


COLUMN QUESTION
Who's the best rocker on reality TV--Ozzy, Vince, Sab?

Send your suggestions to me here at Maximum Metal or open up some discussion about my question or anything else in the Rawface forum.


Support your Indy Metal!!!
John Pardon
07.07.2004


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