DOWNLOADING PATTERNS?
I do a lot of searching around the Net for new metal and it's inevitable that I come across file sharing in some form or another. without discussing the ethics of whether it's right or wrong, I looked at one popular method to see what headbangers were getting into. Certainly, Apple or MusicMatch could give you some highly detail stats on what's hot and what's not, so take the lists below as an informal look of my own without a mass of scientific data behind it.

--Hot bands on the CMJ Loud Rock Chart--Killswitch Engage, Atreyu, Slipknot, Death Angel, Unearth, Fear Factory, Finntroll

--Hot bands on U.S. Radio Station Charts
Death Angel, Kataklysm, In Flames, Evergrey, Satyricon, Finntroll,     
Dragonforce, Blaze, Black Label Society

NOTES AND COMMENTS
--Anthrax may not be selling hot, but they are being traded highly.
--Some older bands (Maiden, Megadeth, Priest, Pantera, Slayer, Tool) are still
showing strong support.
--Notably absent are most 80's Bands including the big names like GnR, Poison and Motley Crue and most of the Grunge, Nu metal, and reformed Thrash bands.
--Euro power metal is doing so-so.
--Gothic Metal has a bit of a voice along with some Black Metal.
--Prog isn't making many waves other than Dream Theater.
--Some of the Metalcore bands like Killswitch Engage and Machine Head are doing very well.
--Women are making some marks with Lacuna Coil, Kittie, Nightwish and others on there.
--Slipknot is only doing OK even with the brand new CD.
--Finntroll and Death Angel are getting spins, but aren't being downloaded.
--Dio-era Sabbath is doing better than Ozzy's back discography even with Ozzfest gearing up.
--The Probot project is pretty much cooled off at this point.
--Some hard rock is hot (Disturbed) and some is not (Manson).
--Pantera is there, but Superjoint Ritual and Damageplan aren't.
--Drowning Pool is being grabbed, but new ones from Tesla and Velvet Revolver aren't. The VR does have copy-protection that has recently been broken though.
--Some surprising stuff being traded about--Lynch Mob, Warlock, Running Wild.


SEX ON STAGE
"A young couple engaged in sexual intercourse on stage during a live performance by the Norwegian band THE CUMSHOTS at the Quart festival in Kristiansand, Norway earlier today (July 6). Tommy Hol Ellingsen, 28, and Keona Johansson, 21, who are said to be members of the activist group Fuck For The Rainforest, who has sex in public in order to put focus on the rainforest, were called up on stage by THE CUMSHOTS' lead singer, entered the stage in the middle of the concert, took of their clothes and proceeded to have sex on stage to the crowd's applause, as the band played on. Local politicians in the religious stronghold of Kristiansand are outraged by the incident, and in spite of lack of formal complaints, the police have launched their own investigation of the sex stunt that took place during Cumshots’ concert Tuesday.

Images link: My parents must be proud!

Those Norwegian...geez. Here in America, a boob pops out and the country goes haywire and over there they're fuckin' on stage for the rainforest. I know ours was on national TV, but the Net has spread this one around the world also. I don't know what kind of music The Cumshots play, but they're getting press like Hell on Earth did last year with the "suicide on stage" gimmick.

The stunt had allegedly been planned for two months, but Cumshots’ Kristopher Schau said nothing to the organizers of the plans. These guys did it right though by just calling them up on stage and letting them have at it. What better way to get a hippie chick. Surprisingly, she was decently hot, too. He stuck his redwood into her bush. Some techno-geek out there should turn it into an animated gif.


COGNAC THE MAGNIFICENT
For this section of The Necrofile we'd like to bring out the world famous, all-seeing oracle and former Chapstick supplier to Steven Tyler--Cognac the Magnificent!!!

We will present him a set of envelopes each with a question inside. Using his extraordinary telepathic powers Cognac will then answer the question sealed inside the envelope.

Johnny Pardon: Welcome once again, O Great Sage...

I hold in my hand these hermetically sealed envelopes. They've been kept in a Banana's and Cream jelly jar since midnight last night in Rob Halford's closet. No one knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and borderline mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these questions having never seen them before.

Cognac: I must have absolute silence...

Cognac is then presented the first envelope.

ANSWER: Good, Bad and the Ugly
QUESTION: (opening the envelope) What do you call a concert tour with Stryper, Slayer and Slipknot?

Cognac: The next envelope, please.

ANSWER: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
QUESTION: (opening the envelope) What could be a great Manowar CD title?

Cognac: The next envelope, please.

ANSWER: Rockers In Alcoholics Anonymous
QUESTION: (opening the envelope) Who is the known as the other R.I.A.A.?

Cognac: The next envelope, please.

ANSWER: 40 Going on 14
QUESTION: (opening the envelope) What is Tommy Lee's behavior on most evenings?

Johnny Pardon: hohoho...ouch...

Cognac: Quiet, piss-eyes! The next envelope, please.

ANSWER: AC/DC's "Back In Black" and hip hop jewelry
QUESTION: (opening the envelope) What is continually certified multi-platinum?

Cognac: The next envelope, please.

ANSWER: World Poker Tour
QUESTION: (opening the envelope) What do you call a tour with Gene Simmons, Paris Hilton and The Cumshots?

Johnny Pardon: Hahaha...thank you, oh wise one for stopping by. Do you have time for another?

Cognac: I do, oh, gnarly-breath. The last envelope, please.

ANSWER: Some Kind of Monster
QUESTION: (opening the envelope) How do ex-Iced Earth members feel about working with Jon Schaffer.

Cognac: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest you armpits. Now, watch this
drive!


DANZIG PUNCHED OUT
"Video footage of DANZIG frontman Glenn Danzig engaging in a physical confrontation with NORTH SIDE KINGS singer and frequent SOULFLY collaborator Danny Marianinho following DANZIG's performance in Tuba City, Arizona Saturday night (July 3) has been posted online"

Video link: Hello, floor!

If you don't have the time or inclination to download the file, I'll sum the video up:

Danzig and Danny are arguing, Danzig pushes him and Danny comes back with a right cross that dropped Danzig like a bad habit. He fell like a big, muscled sack of potatoes. I haven't seen anybody go down like that since the Tyson-Sphinx fight. Some techno-geek out there should turn it into an animated gif.


GNR SPECIAL
Did any of you catch the Gun n' Roses "Behind the Music" special on VH1 last weekend? Axl didn't come off as bad as I thought he would being portrayed as a bit of a control freak while Slash and the others were shown as complete lushes. Stephen Adler came off especially bad with his speech impaired from a drug-induced stroke. Given the talent of the band it's a shame they imploded so quickly.


RANDOM THOUGHTS

Man, I love nachos and cheese. I could eat a ton of them. Did you see where the little Japanese guy, Takeru Kobayashi, ate 53.5 hotdogs (and buns!) in 12 minutes on ESPN? I'd take him on eating nachos. On second thought, maybe I wouldn't. If he's the Michael Jordon of eating, then I'm probably the Will Purdue.

The new Starbuck's commercials with the band following "Glen" around singing "Eye of the Tiger" are brilliant. Whoever came up with that is my hero. They should've followed Glen Danzig around.


COLUMN QUESTION

Would you rather see a violent gorefest concert or a sexfest on stage? Parents, which would you rather your kids attend?

Send your suggestions to me here at Maximum Metal .


Support your Indy Metal!!!
John Pardon
07.07.2004


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