LARS GOES ILL MISSES FEST
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Metallica's drummer, went ill and missed--of all names--The Download Festival. That almost has a karmaic ring to it. SLAYER drummer Dave Lombardo, and SLIPKNOT drummer Joey Jordison stepped up to the plate, along with drum tech Flemming Larson to complete the drumming duties. Talk about the chance of a lifetime, WOW! I would love to hear that version of Battery! Here's who played:

Battery - [w/ Dave]
The Four Horsemen - [w/ Dave]
For Whom The Bell Tolls - [w/ Joey]
Creeping Death - [w/ Joey]
Seek And Destroy - [w/ Joey]
Fade To Black - [w/ Flemming] Wherever I May Roam - [w/ Joey] Last Caress - [w/ Joey]
Sad But True - [w/ Joey]
Nothing Else Matters - [w/ Joey] Enter Sandman - [w/ Joey]


In other Lars news, a terminally ill teenager got a phone call in April in the hospital from Lars. Lars talked so long that the long distance bill was more than the cost of the kid's treatment. I know that was bad. Forgive me my morally bankrupt soul. Speaking of which:


MICHAEL KISKE--CALLING IT A DAY
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Former HELLOWEEN singer Michael Kiske has issued the following statement regarding the break-up of his SUPARED project:

"I officially like to announce my departure from the hard rock music scene now. I simply don't fit. Especially on the last record I did experiment around again with hard rock sounds, trying to keep things interesting for me, but it doesn't lead me to anything. I guess subconsciously I was working with these sounds again trying to get more in peace with my past somehow, but it simply isn't me anymore...All I want to say is: Hard rock isn't my music anymore. I can't cope with its mentality, ideals or musical language. I have found much better artistic arguments, and certainly much higher morals than what the metal scene has to offer...Many people are spiritually dead already as teenagers. And brutalizing music, that makes us dumb, numb and morally deaf does its part...I am not what the scene wants, and I don't want the wimpy artistic truth this scene has to offer."

I can understand him not having his heart into it anymore, but to say he can't cope with hard rock's mentality and that he's found "much better artistic arguments, and certainly much higher morals" strikes me as a bit of a cop out, since metal can be about whatever you want it to be and that there is no overall "metal morality"--there's Satanists, Christians, pagans, hedonists, alcoholics, and probably even Trekkies making metal music. No, the scene overall isn't all God-worshipping, but if you want to do religious metal you can and you just have to hit that niche audience. The point is that you can make you music say whatever you want it to say.


VINCE NEIL EXTREME MAKEOVER
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Vince Neil recently began a three-month extreme makeover for MTV with a trainer, a plastic surgeon and a lifestyle counselor. At stake for Neil is a recording contract and the opportunity to work with a top producer and a recording artist.

What the fuck lit a fire under Vince's ass!? Could it be the continual court dates for his behavior? Could it be the continual ribbing he takes on sites like Metal Sludge (Link: www.metalsludge.com) about being a bloated, fat-ass? Could it be the money? Is it just another way to get back into the limelight? Those guys have gone beyond the legacy of just the music of Crue and into pseudo-celeb B-list of Hollywood. There will never be a full Crue record with the original line up.


OZZY AIN'T LIGHTING SHIT
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People are going on about how Ozzy is supposed to light the Olympic torch. Some of you out there need to try and comprehend before you start typing. The story is: "OZZY OSBOURNE will be one of the performers at a free concert in London to mark the arrival of the Olympic flame in Britain, according to Reuters. The June 26 Olympic Torch Concert will take place in front of 70,000 people from a stage to be built on The Mall, the wide, ceremonial avenue which links Trafalgar Square with Buckingham Palace." Pay the fuck attention! You think they're gonna give him a torch!?


NEW VAN HALEN
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The new Van Halen mp3 titled “It’s About Time” has been out and I don't think it's gonna knock the hip-hoppers off the charts or anything. It's not memorable. The new single will also be on “The Very Best Of Van Halen”, a double album that will be released this summer and will contain three new songs: “It’s About Time”, “Up For Breakfast” and “Learning To See”. They said Eddie wrote enough for 10 albums. With those titles, it looks like it's from the Gary Cherone era.


NEW BIOMECHANICAL SONG
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In the Underground scene, a preview of the closing track taken from Biomechanical's up-and-coming album, 'The Empires of the Worlds' (Out early 2005) has been made availible by the band at this location: http://www.biomechanical.co.uk/Biomechanical-Disindegration-Sample.mp3
Now this is a prog/thrash band that kicks some ass and plays it heavy! I'm as happy to hear this one as I was when I got part #2 of the Libby Hoeller amateur series.


DEATHS IN THE FAMILY
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Former ENUFF Z'NUFF guitarist Derek Frigo passed away Friday (May 28) at the age of 36 and BATHORY founding member Quorthon died (June 7) at age 39 from appearently heart failure. There are still no winners in the Maximum Metal Death Pool. Oops, my morality slipped again.


MAGGOTS ON THE CHARTS
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SLIPKNOT's new album, "Vol. 3: (The Subliminal Verses)", has sold 242,683 copies in the U.S. in its first week of release to debut at No. 2 on next week's The Billboard 200 chart. It finished behind Avril Lavignie (who is actually pretty hot under her crappy clothes), but hey, nice job to the boys for getting up there.


SEBASTIAN THROWS SOME JABS
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Ex-singer of Skid Row, Sebastian Bach threw a few jabs at his former bandmates: "For me, when somebody says, 'Would you like to have a reunion with those guys?'... Number one, if there's any songs like '18 And Life' lying around, I'm more than happy to sing them. But judging by what they've been putting out lately, I find that highly doubtful. And number two, I have a record deal and they don't, so what do I do? Do a record for Skid Row Records? What is that? Rachel's fax machine? I ain't doing that, dude. If we got together in a basement and rocked, and it was anything close to what we did before, then I'd have something to say to you, you know."... To some people, that equals out to 'Oh, he's difficult to work with.' Rachel Bolan would spend two years on a song, and I'd say, 'Dude, this isn't as good as what we need to be putting out in my opinion.'...But I've got so much music on my own right now that to me blows away what they put out."

With Tesla and Drowning Pool making hard rock waves, now would be the time to step up and put out some good music. The last Skid Row didn't do shit, so bring it on, Sab.


HITS WITH LEMMY
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Lemmy talks about dropping acid: "[Acid] gives you a new angle on things. Several new angles. I wouldn't undo having done it. It made me more analytical. It made me more tolerant. And it made me realize that anything is possible. Anything. It's all random, everything is random. We like to put our patterns on things, but nature never wrote a straight line. Where are the Romans now and their fabulous buildings? Wrecks overgrown by nature." Maybe we can just get some acid for Vince Neil?


NA NA NA NA HEY HEY HEY GOODBYE
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After nearly 10 years together, CREED have officially broken up, according to MTV.com. Bye! How about taking Nickleback and Puddle of Mud with ya, please.


RANDOM THOUGHTS
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No matter how much work Bono does for world peace and hunger, I just can't him that seriously when he wears those blue colored wrap-around sunglasses and is photographed hopping around L.A. clubs with Heather Graham in a Mercedes. Sell those glasses and feed a villiage for a month, bitchcakes.

The dumbest song of the year so far has to be "Cold Hard Bitch" by Jet. Sounds like Offspring with AC/DC riffs and you can tell the big selling point was the guy saying "cold hard bitch" for the kiddies. The lyrics are just plain awful even for a party song.


COLUMN QUESTION
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ANTHRAX guitarist Scott Ian said that he and the rest of his band firmly believe "Chicago is the heavy metal capital of the United States!" Do you agree or disagree and why?

Send your suggestions to me here at Maximum Metal or open up some discussion about my question or anything else in the Rawface forum.


Support your Indy Metal!!!
John Pardon
06.07.2004


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