FACT or FICTION

You've probably seen this column idea at other sites. We thought it would be cool to do it for the various metal rumors floating around the Internet.

1. Vince Neil who began a three-month extreme makeover for MTV with a trainer, a plastic surgeon and a lifestyle counselor--at stake for Neil is a recording contract and the opportunity to work with a top producer and a recording artist--will see a career comeback for himself. FACT or FICTION?

Neekoy - FICTION, he is actually starting a whirlwind tour of Reality TV shows to get his mug on the glossy mags, next step is The Apprentice where Vince will have to try and sell crappy 80's hair metal to an audience of half monkey ass men (otherwise known as Music Executives)....Vince You're Fired!

IcedMojo - FACT of the matter is, I doubt a makeover will help and judging by BoD and the last Crue album, they just need to hang it up and never try again! But Vince is vain, so I guess he wants to totally suck too!

EC - FICTION. I really don't think anyone cares about Vince Neil anymore. Maybe a Motley Crue reunion would help his career, but at this point he is close to an interview at Burger King.

Jonah Haze - FACT Vince Neil needs to quit eating and drinking like a starving Panda in a Chinese zoo. FICTION is the contract and producer and comeback contingent on his makeover. MTV certainly wont pay for all of that because he already has them. He isn't Jani Lane yet is he?

Nailer - FICTION if you ever think he'll have a hit solo CD or the Crue will have another full album you're blind or just dumb. FACT he might move up a notch on the celebrity list from D-level to C-level star joining the ranks of such luminaries as Sheila E, Frank Stallone and Tootie from the facts of Life.

2. Phil Anselmo will join former Pantera bandmates currently in Damageplan onstage at Ozzfest and perform a couple Pantera numbers with them. FACT or FICTION?

Neekoy - FACT, the songs though will have a slightly different feel to
reflect both sides, Mouth for Talking Shit, Please Commit Suicide Note Part 2 and Fucking Anselmo are rumoured to be on the playlist

IcedMojo - FICTION. There is far too much bad blood between them for that. Maybe later. That would be great though.

EC - FICTION. As much smack talking as these guys have done amongst each other, someone would have to empty their wallet to have the members stand next to each other.

Jonah Haze - HOPEFULLY FICTION. That might be as exciting as seeing an Adrian Smith ASAP reunion.

Nailer - FICTION IF they did "Walk" together it would blow the place apart. Maybe they'll share a beer or six and some solemn words backstage, but that will be all.

3. ANTHRAX guitarist Scott Ian said that he and the rest of his band firmly believe "Chicago is the heavy metal capital of the United States!" FACT or FICTION?

If you said FICTION, then what city do you think is?

Neekoy - FICTION - Texas, the only good thing to come out of Chicago is flight DL 7862 from O'Hare airport.

IcedMojo - That sounds like a catch phrase a band would use no matter what city they are in. FACT is, metal (not nu-metal bullshi) is on a downfall in the US, sorry but the numbers speak for themselves, get a grip on reality bro.

EC - FICTION. They just said that because their DVD was shot live there. Any band playing in any city will say that! The Foo-Fighters once told the Roanoke Civic Center that Roanoke was one of the best college towns in America. How many people have heard of Roanoke College or Virginia Western?????

Jonah Haze - I believe it is a FACT that Scott said that but I actually think the metal capital of the U.S. is in Cornchuck, Nebraska.

Nailer - It's a bit of a self-serving statement since they're only using it for their own shows, but there is some good metal to come out of there. Same as the D.C. area. Metal is just spread out too much, so FICTION.

4. David Lee Roth would make a great emergency medical technician. FACT or FICTION?

Neekoy - FICTION - If he can't bring his career back to life riding the machine that is the Van Halen what chance has he got with a box of paracetamol, a band aid and a dying patient?

IcedMojo - That would be funny as hell to see. I can't say if he would or wouldn't, I just know he seems like a quick thinker so I will say FACT.

EC - FICTION. I can only imagine being hit by a car and waking up to see his deranged, spandex ass staring down at me. Good God, I'd rather just lie there and die. What the hell would he do in an emergency situation!?!

Jonah Haze - DLR simply makes a great emergency.

Nailer - FACT If I was was laid out and he came up into my face with a needle and that big fuckin grin sayin "bosey-bosey bop", I spring back to life and get the hell out of there post haste.

5. The new Velvet Revolver CD "Contraband" will help kickstart a new hard rock revival. FACT or FICTION?

Neekoy - FACT, they will kickstart us back to the glory days of Warrant - Under the Influence, Def Leppard - Slang, Hammerfalls - Legacy of Kings and Wrathchild - Stakk Attakk

IcedMojo - Which Hard Rock Revival are we talking about here. For the poser teenie boppers, this may be a FACT, but since it blows chunks, I don't see em lasting to do anything but kickstart Scott's pacemaker, after he destroys his body with drugs and alcohol.

EC - FICTION. I don't think anything right now is going to start a hard rock revival. The GOOD bands out there right now getting aren't getting the attention needed to be leaders.

Jonah Haze - FICTION. Instead hopefully this will kickstart a major heroin binge for Weiland so he can pursue his solo "Rehab is for quitters" tour.

Nailer - FICTION Sales are decent, but the reviews so far are tepid. They just ain't gonna be the band to make a kid put down his Autozone hubcap spinners to pick up a cheap Sears guitar and try and be a juke box hero.

6. Dropping acid with Lemmy would be a lot of fun. FACT or FICTION?

Neekoy - FACT, until that big hideous mole starting growing out of his face, formed legs and started chasing you around the room with a carving knife.

IcedMojo - My opinion is a total myth. I have seen first hand what that shit does and fun is not how I'd describe it, so even if I had the chance, I'd never know.

EC - FICTION! I can just imagine dropping acid and staring at that huge growth on Lemmy's face. It would be the size of the Moon.

Jonah Haze - FACT. Actually, dropping acid on Lemmy would be more fun.

Nailer - FICTION Dropping acid Lemmy would get too freaky once his face started melting and his bone-mole covered skull would be grinning at you like you were a warm pint of nasty brown.

7. The new $4.2 million Metallica movie documentary "Some Kind of Monster" will go on to be a decent hit for an indie movie. FACT or FICTION?

Neekoy - FICTION, why the fuck call it "some kind of monster"? As if the lyrics on St Anger weren't bad enough, now you have to parade them around in a title for your overachieving and underworked home fucking movie?

IcedMojo - Hahahaha. When is the last time Craptallica did anything decent?

EC - Stephen King can publish his laundry list and it will be a best-seller. Metallica's fans are the same way. Its a FACT that this movie will do great.

Jonah Haze - FICTION. No one cares enough anymore 'cept new fans blinded by the hype and it wont be released on enough screens to be a hit.

Nailer - FACT I think it will make it's money back. We've come from Zep's "Song Remains the Same" escapist fantasy to Metallica's reality TV self-discovery. I'd like to see it cause I'm a sucker for that mellodramatic stuff, but I won't pay full theater price cause I'm a cheap bastard. Maybe I'll see it on matinee and put it on the Max Metal expense account. There's some reality for ya, guys.