FACT or FICTION

You've probably seen this column idea at other sites. We thought it would be cool to do it for the various metal rumors floating around the Internet.

1.  Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons opted to utilize Eric Singer during the group's upcoming tour of Japan and Australia because original KISS drummer Peter Criss can't handle the pressure. FACT or FICTION?

EC--FACT I would imagine that is the case since it is such a long trip.

1Evil1--FACT Peter Criss has to find it amazingly hard to drum at what 95 years old? I mean really there is no way this guy could keep up anymore. Plus he probably got bored with the band saying it was always thier last tour and they would never stop.

Nailer--I'll go with FACT. Him and Ace always look extremely weary and to quote Clint: "A man has got to know his limitations". Gene would probably only pay session wages anyway.

IcedMojo--FACT I mean he is getting to be an old man. If Eric Singer can perform the duties needed as well as or better than Peter, maybe he should just step down. I figure on at least a dozen more Farewell tours. Can he keep up?

2.  Regardless of false rumors, Def Leppard will find new commercial success from an all-covers album focusing on the British bands of the '70s. FACT or FICTION?

EC--FICTION No way. Def Leppard will never become successful again. Those days are gone.

Nailer--Leppard seems to be in the same sinking ship as Anthrax. Even if they put out something decent, nobody will care one way or the other so FICTION.

1Evil1--FICTION Def Lep is dead and gone. Nothing will ever top Pyromania. After the flop that was X no one has interest in these 60 year old chaps anymore. Everyone should remember the glory years when their drummer still had 2 arms.

IcedMojo--FICTION Def Leppard has become so terrible, it would not matter what they do. They are done, and should have quit after Hysteria. Maybe Pyromania, but the interest of a one armed drummer helped Hysteria.

3.  According to MTV, Guns n Roses guitarist, Buckethead left the band because he became fed up with Axl's inability to complete an album or tour. FACT or FICTION?

EC--FACT Again I state that Axl Rose is the laziest musician in the business today. Buckethead keeps on the move, constantly doing guest appearances and putting out albums so I'm sure that Axl's slow progress is very frustrating to him.

1Evil1--FACT Axl will never get his act together to release a new album or be physically able to tour. Drugs and binge drinking usually interfere greatly with people wanting to work with you. The greatest hits album that came out recently was done by the label, amongst major protest. Axl had a big issue with that since the band didn't get to pick the songs or artwork. The label probably did it since they knew the band would never want to release anything or come to terms with one another on what should be on the damn thing. Buckethead was a smart man and saw the light, finally. Expect this release on FEB 30 of never and the tour to follow shortly after never.

Nailer--FACT I'd say true, but wasn't one of the tour legs called because of an illness that Buckethead had.

IcedMojo--FACT Who is not fed up with Axl?

4. Speaking to Metal Edge magazine for its May 2004 issue, Disturbed frontman Dave Draiman said, "To be perfectly honest with you, I think that THE DARKNESS is a joke, and that's, unfortunately, exactly what the world wants. The world wants rock bands to be idiots."

THE DARKNESS is a joke. FACT or FICTION?

EC--FACT I can't take them seriously. I don't mind the music, but the vocals are simply spoof material.

1Evil1--FACT I liked QUEEN and other 80's rock bands before they were revived through this band that is receiving all the credit.

Nailer--FICTION They were smart enough to go from a club band to a million-selling, areana band super fast, so somebody is doing something right. The rock scene needs people with character nowadays.

IcedMojo--FICTION Draiman and Disturbed are a joke. Nuff said.
The world wants rock bands to be idiots.

5.  The world wants rock bands to be idiots. FACT or FICTION?

EC--FACT Just look at the antics of Fred Durst and Kid Rock. Enough said.

1Evil1--FACT If the world didnt want rock bands to be idiots producers wouldnt 'shape' and 'mold' bands that have been proving themselves forever. New bands like THE DARKNESS wouldn't sound like a combination off all the bands from the 80's rock scene.

Nailer--FICTION I'd say the ratio of goofs to serious musicians is pretty even. Some guys just try a little too hard to entertain.

IcedMojo--FACT yes, the world wants idiot rock stars, look at Disturbed!

6.  Nikki Sixx and his new band Brides of Destruction turned down a potentially lucrative tour with KISS and Poison because they don't want to be overbilled by a pussy band. FACT or FICTION?

EC--FICTION Brides Of Destruction ain't selling. Period. Neither KISS or Poison would want them on the road dulling their superstar shine.

1Evil1--FICTION They were afraid that their mediocre band would be shown up by a band that is full of 90 year old gerriatrics.

Nailer--FACT Given their fist song was "Shut the Fuck Up", they want to come across as the new bad boys in town. Nobody will go for that when the next band launches into "Unskinny Bop".

IcedMojo--FACT He has a valid point, (referring to Poison) but can we say ego-maniac. If opening for Poison will get Brides noticed, then it takes a fool to refuse. Maybe he, Jon Schaffer, Dave Mustaine, and Axl Rose should create a band together!

7.  Stratovarius leader Timo Tolkki will soon disband the group as a response to his recent knife/boxcutter attack and Kabala experience. FACT or FICTION?

EC--FICTION Timo probably arranged the whole thing. He seems a bit looney lately. I would imagine he is trying everything in his power to reach Malmsteen like stardom.

1Evil1--FACT that I really don't care. Who is going to miss this band anyways they havent done anything recently thats worth writing home about or worth spending $20 on.

Nailer--FICTION They won't disband, but I'd bet the new album will be nutty as hell. Look for some Indian sounds cause everytime some rock star wants to be spiritual, they haul out a fucking sitar.

IcedMojo--FICTION how are we ever to believe a word that comes from him? 1 word--CERTIFIABLE!

8. The individual who recently attacked Stravovarious guitarist Timo Tolkki with a knife/boxcutter was really ex-singer Timo Kotipelto in Spanish disguise. FACT or FICTION?

EC--FICTION As I stated earlier, Timo probably arranged this little "attack" skit to help stroke interest.

1Evil1--FICTION I believe this to be the work of our very own NAILER! It's a travesty I know but I'm hear to tell you the truth my friends. Truth be told late one night NAILER and I were down at Food Lion while the stock boys were prancing down the isles, and NAILER was in his usual Spanish whore getup. When NAILER was going for his usual hard brew of choice (ZIMA), he saw a twinky I mean a twinkle out of the corner of his eye. Lo and behold one of the prancers had discarded their boxcutter like a copy of Def Lep's 'X'. Well the only choice NAILER had was to pick up this item of pure evil design and use it. Then and right then, I kid you not, NAILER's eyes began to glow with a fury I had never known but once before that gut feeling of having to disembowel Timo Tolkki with a boxcutter! NAILER marched out of Food Lion with a purpose in his life... that's really all I know but I'm sure that's how it went down. DAMN YOU NAILER!!! HOW COULD YOU TRY TO RAPE THE WORLD OF THE TALENTS OF TOLKKI!!!!! TOLKKI YOU WILL BE AVENGED!!!

Nailer--Yes, I was down at the Food Lion to get a 12-pack of my favorite knockoff drink, Dr. Perky, but I disavow any knowledge of boxcutters. Maybe I was dressed like a Spanish whore--so what!

IcedMojo--FICTION refer to my previous answer!